


Miss you, dude.

by AmazingKisia



Category: Smosh
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 16:23:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmazingKisia/pseuds/AmazingKisia
Summary: It's Ian's birthday and the person he wants to see the most only posts a tweet, which ruins his day but it isn't over yet.





	Miss you, dude.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [Anthony's tweet](https://twitter.com/anthonypadilla/status/936364251593064448), which kind of broke my heart so I had to write this fic. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Miss you, dude.”

Ian stared at the sentence for way too long until he decided to close the tab and take a few deep breaths. It’s been almost half a year since they finally decided to part, and even though Ian knew it was the right thing to do and he was seriously glad for Anthony to move on and be happy again, he couldn’t fill that hole in his life. He couldn’t stand not having Anthony around anymore. He watched his videos with pleasure. It was an awesome feeling to see his best friend smiling _that_ smile again. That smile, which never left his face while they were shooting their first videos, before Smosh became such a huge thing and developed in so many ways.

Ian was the very first one to see that Anthony was feeling low. He didn’t enjoy shooting videos the way he used to, and Ian literally felt that his heart was in pain. That’s why one day he invited Anthony over and they spent the whole night talking about all of the problems, and for the first time  in a very long time it felt like they were those kids again, fresh youtubers with big dreams. Ian missed those times. Sometimes he wished their channel hasn’t grown so much and it’d still be full of those weird videos they used to post. He missed Anthony and he couldn’t bear his life without having that crazy dork beside him anymore.

Smosh fam surprised Ian with a birthday party and it was extremely nice and he was really happy about it, but he couldn’t help looking around, searching for Anthony, who clearly wasn’t there. What was he expecting, after all. Anthony, despite being one of the “founders”, wasn’t a part of Smosh anymore and he wasn’t coming back. Neither to the channel nor to Ian…

They had this _thing_ once in a while. This thing that only stayed between two of them, and it brought them both so much comfort and relaxation. It was so intimate that they didn’t even speak, they just lied there curled around each other, rubbing the other’s back, comforting one another in every possible way. Whenever one of them needed some closure, or simply wanted to chill out for a few moments (sometimes even a few hours) they would call each other and make the other come over, staying for as long as was needed. They both knew that it wasn’t really a thing that “bros” did, but neither of them cared and each wanted even more, but was too scared to admit it.

“Ian, is everything okay?” he was asked by Courtney finally, surprised it took so long for _her_ to spot that nothing was okay at that point.

“Yeah, I’m just so old,” he laughed it off as usual and she believed him, not wanting to torture him on his own birthday.

The party set off and after a while even Ian forgot about Anthony for a moment and started to enjoy it, chatting with his Smosh family and a few friends that were invited. However, it couldn’t last for too long, could it?

They started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him and Ian was spinning around, clearly not caring about the song and just looking for the cake. He was sure that this amount of sweetness and calories will make him forget about the whole damn world, Anthony atop of it.

Then, he saw it approaching. The cake looked delicious and he felt his mouth watering already, but he couldn’t not pay attention to what was written of top of it.

Happy Birthday IAn ~~thony.~~ _Oh for fuck’s sake_.

While he was almost done, forgetting about his best friend for a second, about that special _thing_ that was only their’s, he literally had their ship name written on his birthday cake.

Sure thing no one from Smosh knew about the pain he still felt after Anthony’s departure and everyone was laughing at that, and so was he, hiding everything inside like he always did.

They took a ‘Savage’ picture and started eating it the cake and, despite everything, Ian had to admit that it was delicious. Not that sweet that it’d make you want to throw up, but perfectly sweet to be on the edge of it. With the cake came some alcohol and they drunk a bit; Ian fully aware that he wasn’t a heavy drinker always kept his distance and just waited for the moment he will come back home...

Only to make a complete wreck out of himself.

The party finished and Smosh didn’t let Ian do any of the cleaning so he said his goodbyes and made his way his home. The picture of him and Anthony was literally the first thing he saw once he entered.

“Oh fuck you!” Ian screamed and threw the frame through the room, shattering the glass at the corner. “ _Best friend_ , screw you. You wouldn’t even call! Just posting a picture on fucking twitter, ruining my whole day. Fuck you, Anthony!” he yelled at himself, not even realizing there were tears in his eyes. He squatted and ran his fingers through his hair, tears pooling inside his eyes. “Fuck you, Anthony,” he whispered and collapsed, mad at himself for being such a mess and mad at that prick that led him to this moment.

He spent some time on the floor, trying to shut his mind and just forget, maybe even make himself sleepy, but obviously none of that would come. So he stood up, went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey form the fridge, not even bothering to take a glass. He sat down on the sofa, opened his laptop and, being the complete loser he was, he started to watch Anthony’s videos.

The amount of time he spent on that was clearly unhealthy, but measuring with whiskey, he spent half the bottle watching random videos. When he was done with Ant’s channel he moved to watch some of the old Smosh videos, his heart not capable of breaking even more at that point, already shattered to pieces.

All of which belonged to Anthony Padilla.

He didn’t realize what  time he passed out, but he didn’t care about going to bed, or even pausing the videos, which were going one-by-one on auto play. What woke him up, however, was someone aggressively trying to get into his apartment. He sat up immediately, worried that someone is trying to break in (which would literally be the best end of that horrible day), but then he thought that a burglar wouldn’t probably knock on the door and ring the doorbell. Despite all of his thoughts centering around ignoring the intruder and going to bed, he decided to approach the door.

“Ian, I know you’re in there!” he heard and froze for a second. He wouldn’t mistake that voice with any other.

He looked through the peek-hole just to make sure that it wasn’t all imaginary, but there he was, gorgeous as always.

“I can hear you, y’know?” the man shouted, laughing, and Ian stopped daydreaming, finally opening the door.

“Hey Ian,” he said with a smile, that immediately brightened up Ian’s whole day.

“Hi… Anthony.”

“You didn’t expect me, huh? I just... I saw a picture of your cake and thought you deserve one that’s kind of… better?” he said with a smirk and revealed his hand, previously kept behind his back. In his hand, he held a doughnut with a candle stuck inside it. Anthony quickly lit it with the other hand. ”Make a wish, Ian.”

Ian still wasn’t sure if he was only dreaming or maybe he had hallucinations after drinking so much, but Anthony was _there_. Beside him.

He could only have one wish. The candle was blown very quickly and he let the man in, putting the doughnut on a shelf and taking Antony into a tight embrace, as soon as he was able to. His guest was taken by surprise, but he returned the hug in an instant, burying his face in the crook of Ian’s neck. Suddenly, both of them felt…

Felt like _home_.

They sat on the couch after Ian hastily cleaned the place a bit. Anthony did not make him realize that he spotted their broken picture laying on the floor in the corner of the room, as well as the almost empty bottle of whiskey and, to top it all off, their old videos playing in the background.  

“So… How are you doing?” Anthony broke the silence, which was usually comfortable between the two of them, but today, it felt unbearable.

“Not that bad,” he lied smoothly and asked Anthony the same question.

“I’m good… Yeah,” he just said and the silence came again. It was awful, so Ian, still drunk, broke it after a few moments.

“Did you really come here just to give me a better cake?” he asked, remembering that the doughnut stayed at the shelf beside the front door.

“Nah, it was just an excuse.” Anthony sighed and wiped his face with hands. “Though it wasn’t that funny what they did with your original cake.”

“You tell me.” Ian laughed and wondered if Anthony felt the same pinch of bitterness while seeing that picture.

He saw that Anthony tensed up immediately, and he almost reached out to grab his arm and make sure everything was okay, but he was sure it _wasn’t_ okay and he didn’t know if he should touch him. Though, having known the guy since they were little shits, he was sure something bothered him at that very moment.

“What’s wrong, Ant?” he asked quietly, as if they were somewhere surrounded by many people, while in reality, there were only the two of them here.

“Um, no…noth-“

“Don’t bullshit me, Padilla,” Ian snapped and Anthony smiled a bit, which made Ian’s heart skip a beat.

“I really do miss you, y’know,” he whispered finally and this time Ian couldn’t help but reach and squeeze his arm.

“I miss you too, Anthony,” Ian admitted and smiled sadly, though it felt so fucking nice when Anthony covered his hand with his own.

“I left Smosh but I never meant to leave… You,” the brunet added and looked at him. “I’m so sorry, Ian.”

Ian felt his eyes starting to water, but he fought it. He couldn’t show that to Anthony, even if he drank a bit too much. Anthony waited for his response, but it never came. He clearly didn’t know what to say. All of the thoughts that have been in his head the whole day came back and he wanted to scream, oh God, he wanted to shout it all in the man’s face, _why did you leave me alone, why did you forget about me, why you weren’t there when I needed you_ , but on the other hand, was he any better?

“I’m sorry too,” he said finally and looked at Anthony’s confused face. “I wasn’t the best friend I should have been. Especially when you started something new and definitely needed support,” he blurted out, surprised that he never thought about it this way before. Anthony just smiled and let go of his hand, only to invite him into his warm embrace, which Ian accepted immediately.

“I don’t mind any of that, Ian. I just want to have you back,” Anthony said close to his ear. “I still need you in my life. I still…”

Ian hugged him tighter and closed his eyes, sensing Anthony with his whole body.

“You still?” he repeated after a minute, backing up a bit so he could see him. Anthony was a mix of relief and stress.

“I still love you,” he said quietly, but there was a force and confidence in that sentence, which made Ian melt. “And I guess you know I never meant it as just a friend,” he added with a light blush and then…

Ian was just _dead_.

“W-What? Are you like, serious?”

“Um, yeah? I thought you felt the same way, to be honest. We confessed that we’re scared of the fans one day…”

“I don’t care anymore,” Ian said and Anthony was confused again.

“You don’t care about us?”

“No, you dork. I don’t care about the fans,” Ian replied and then he cupped Anthony’s cheek and leaned in for a kiss.

They met halfway, both hands already exploring one another, eyes closed, hearts full of bliss.  Everything finally fell into place. The kiss wasn’t long or tender, but it was full of passion and emotions.

“I love you too, Anthony,” Ian confessed, feeling even more drunk, but not on alcohol; on happiness. “I’ve loved you for so long, Padildo.”

Anthony laughed and connected their foreheads, his hands never leaving Ian, caressing his body through his clothes.

“Can I stay the night?”

“You can’t leave ever again,” Ian responded and they kissed softly once more, not eager to rush anything. They had a lot of time, after all.

Later, they both laid in Ian’s bed, the brunet’s head on the other man’s chest, their arms wrapped tightly around each other.

“Happy birthday, Ian,” Anthony said, almost asleep. “What did you wish for, by the way?”

“I had two wishes and both of them already came true,” Ian answered and kissed the top of Anthony’s head.

Moments later, they both fell asleep, feeling happy and nervous about the fact that their lives connected again. After all, their fans will still freak out and probably their privacy will be even more violated, but what mattered was that they were together.

Together, and finally in the right place.

 


End file.
